backbone like steel.
backbone like barbed wire.
backbone like “touch me.
touch me and see what happens to your hands.”

smile like an oil spill.
smile like a molotov cocktail.
smile like “kiss me.
kiss me and see what happens to your tongue.”

when you get knocked around enough early on
you learn to build your body up like a prison.
the clenched white teeth,
bloody knuckle electric fence.

you forget, while playing judge and jury,
that you are your own convict,
and you have been wrongfully accused.

heart like a clenched fist.
heart like a birdcage.
heart like “love me.
oh god, what weak creature am i,
that i need you to love me?”
heart like a bomb -
and the bomb shelter.

sentenced to life without parole,
thrown into solitary,
if you ever want to see the sun again,
you’ll have to find a way to escape.

past like “fuck you.”
present like “fuck you.”
future like it will not always be like this.
future like it will not always be like this.
future like “i am trying to be soft.
i am trying to accept love without
wanting to tear us both apart.”