✠HOTARU✠​:

       “ i know i am. i’d like to consider it one of my more endearing qualities, ” hotaru teases, body only too malleable, allowing him to pull her close without resistance. though her hands are reluctant to release his, they are gentle as one rests atop his head, the other against his shoulder. idly, her fingers stroke through his hair, careful to avoid tugging or any sudden motions. the quiet serenity of the scene makes her heart swell, overwhelmed with the feeling she cannot quite identify. contentment doesn’t seem to do it justice.

       “ we can do whatever you’d like to celebrate this weekend. ” though her tone is soft, it leaves little room for argument. her schedule is clear, after all. an unintended benefit of having to place her life on hold for several weeks. if she’s being honest with herself, it’s a bit reckless to make such claims & refuse to budge, but it’s in her nature. her stubbornness may be less endearing, but it serves her well on rare occasions. “ … unless of course you’re busy. then we’ll find another day. ”

       reassuring, her hand lightly squeezes at the curve of his shoulder, allowing the contact to be steadying. part of her still feels strangely exhausted after having finally returned from her vacation. kai is the first person she wanted to see upon her return, but having heard from takao ( it’s not a common occurrence for any of his friends to reach out to her, though she did give them her contact just in case ) was enough to accelerate her need to visit him. she still feels awful for letting the dates slip by her mind. but if he gives her direction, she’s more than willing to make up for her slight.

       “ i just really wanted to see you today. is that alright ? ”

                                                    How odd. Everything she said, sincere of course, was ODD to him & Kai wasn’t quite sure if that was reflective of him or his upbringing. If he wasn’t the best, then he was doing something WRONG. First place meant everything—anything below that was MEANINGLESS & losing to Takao the first time left Kai CLAWING his way back to the top. Its how he knew he was worth it. It was how he knew he was special. It was how he knew his grandfather gave a shit. It took Kai a long time to be OK.

                                                               The climb is still pretty steep.

                                              ❛ I’m not busy. ❜ For himself, he cared less. For her, he’d make time. Besides, something told him that attempting to PUT IT OFF any longer would result in things happening whether he LIKED IT OR NOT. Threats meant nothing. Disappointment did. ❛ You’re just gonna have to plan everything. I won’t soil your ideas with my input. ❜ Let it all be a SURPRISE, or something along those lines. Even though his birthday was next to MEANINGLESS for him, Kai could humor her attempt & try to find some sunshine through the ever looming overcast.

                                             ❛ Just us, right? ❜ As a brow rose at her. ❛ I’m not giving you THAT much free reign you know. I know you don’t think they’re an issue but, I’d rather not have my team attempt to sing me happy birthday. ❜ The less people, the better. Besides, Kai’s birthday (besides his weight & other various things) was a BEST KEPT SECRET; he wanted to keep it that way & no matter how much he cared for Hotaru, she could find her own way home if she uttered it to anyone else.

✠HOTARU✠​:

       “ i’ll answer it ! ” hotaru announces to the household, unable to hide the smile blossoming over her features. excitement makes her steps swift as she descends the staircase, electricity nearly buzzing just beneath the surface of her skin. she knows who is on the other side of the door, knows how eager she is to see him & to enjoy the feeling of merriment that accompanies a holiday with him. it isn’t their first holiday season together, but that does nothing to dampen her enthusiasm.

       the door is pulled open & hotaru opens her mouth to greet kai, only to pause the instant their eyes meet as he thrusts a nylon strap into her hand. what on earth … ? as if time slows down, her gaze lowers, following the length of the material until it comes to rest on the adorable little dog on the other end.

       a palm clasps over her mouth, hiding the way her jaw goes slack as shock overcomes her. the pup, meanwhile, is pawing at the home’s threshold, curious & unbothered by the wide violet stare resting squarely on them. it appears to grow in size steadily before inching forward to investigate the bend of her knee. only then does the little firefly realise that she’s fallen to the floor, legs angled behind her. kai’s statement is the only indication that she’s been silent thus far, & though she cannot tear her eyes away from the gift at her doorstep, he still manages to make her heart skip a beat.

       “ oh, you sweet little thing … you’re adorable ! ” she exclaims in a hush, so desperate not to startle the poor dog. her whole frame is tense with barely restrained joy. cautiously, she reaches out a curled hand, allowing the dog to sniff at her thin fingers until it determines her non-threatening enough to approach. it takes everything in her power to not scoop them into her arms, although the temptation sings loudly in tandem with the rhythm of her heartbeat, nearly deafening her. “ what’s your name, hmm ? ”

       by the time her eyes rise to kai, there are tears shining in their depths. an unspoken emotional torrent of gratitude storms inside of her, lips quivering as they curve into a smile ( though she tries her best to hide their shaking ). she cannot imagine anything she could’ve done to deserve such a meaningful gift. despite her attempts at composure, hotaru finds her throat going tight as it tries to give voice to the questions stirring inside her. “ kai, how did you – ? ”

                                             GUILT made people do many different things & Kai harbored his QUIETLY. He wasn’t here for CHRISTMAS & NEW YEARS. Tournaments tend to take him away along with work & although he knew it was understood, it didn’t help soothe that, for the first time, he actually would RATHER be here than anywhere else. To think that ONE PERSON had the ability to do that to him, of all people. Such a person could SWAY his resolve without a second thought & the kicker? She didn’t seem to know she COULD do that.

                                                      That added to Hotaru’s charm, in Kai’s mind. To RUIN & TARNISH would be devastating to all. He couldn’t do that, not to her—definitely not to her. Arms folded themselves over his chest as the leash was still hooked by a lone finger. ❛ POUND. ❜ & that was all he said on the matter. No one needed to know that he VOLUNTEERED at the shelters every month. No one needed to know that he DONATES to them every month & puts in a little extra for Christmas. No one needs to know that due to his contributions, most of the shelters in the city now have the RESOURCES to be no kill shelters. It was his little secret; something that he KNEW if it got out, he’d never hear the end of it.

                                             ❛ She’s the RUNT of her litter but, ❜ as he shrugs somewhat. ❛ She has personality & big eyes. ❜ The hand that was tucked underneath his bicep allowed for one finger to poke out to point towards hotaru. ❛ Like yours. She REMINDED me of you so, here you go. Happy birthday. ❜ & MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR & ANYTHING ELSE HE MANAGED TO MISS.

                                             ❛ You can name her whatever you want & I won’t look at you funny. ❜ Just a dash of HUMOR (his was usually dry) to add to her ENJOYMENT of the newest member of her little family. ❛ I think they said she was like….five months or something. Still young. Still moldable. Like so, watch. ❜ Unraveling his hands, Kai dropped the leash which managed to SPOOK the pup just a tiny bit to turn, tail seeming to go a mile a minute. Kai’s head turned down & lips pursed themselves to let out a whistle—SHARP & QUICK. Ears perked, the wagging stopped for a moment & down on her bottom she sat. ❛ Smart. Here’s your reward. ❜ Reaching into his pocket, a biscuit, a shape of a BONE was exposed as he leaned himself over for her to take from him GENTLY & GRACIOUSLY.

✠HOTARU✠​:

       she is like a waxen doll, so easy to overheat & melt away. her insides feel as though they may be burning, overwhelmed with a warmth that feels equal parts new & unfamiliar. it’s a sensation that she’s felt more than once before, any time she’s found herself tangled up in him, or come dangerously close to it. sometimes she finds it in the magnetism of his gaze, or in the way his arms cocoon her with such ease.

       kissing kai has only become easier as time has passed. in the beginning, she always felt clumsy, foolish even. afraid that he would think her far too naïve. now she molds her lips against his with an almost practiced ease. all of her previous thoughts seemingly vanish into oblivion. hotaru leans into him, her fingers reaching to clasp at the front of his shirt, holding fast to the fabric, thrilled at the very suggestion of his closeness.

       every part of her that his hands graze feels as though it’s been struck by a match, suddenly ignited by this same underlying heat but doused in gasoline. she unsuccessfully swallows a low sound threatening to rise from her chest, her lips only too eager to chase his. the way kai pulls away from her immediately leaves the firefly dazed, lashes fluttering as her eyes reluctantly open. she can already feel the beginnings of a pout forming on her features.

       without his lips against hers to anchor her in place, hotaru can feel her head spinning, faster even than the words that had tumbled in a free fall from her lips a mere moment before. not so subtly, her frame sways, shifting her leg to press the exposed skin of her thigh more firmly against his palm before it can retreat. “ i should be asking you that, ” she answers breathlessly, a hint of laughter underscoring her words. her hands relax, fingers lazily tracing his collar. “ you know i won’t be mad if you just ask me to stop talking, right ? it would take much more than that for you to hurt my feelings. ”

                                                       How dare she look at him with such an alluring pout. To CALL for him to return without having to utter ONE SINGLE WORD. Kai metaphorically yanked his self applied leash back; she will not be under attack. She will not be made to succumb to him. In due time that goes without QUESTION. But now, He kept himself at bay. He had to. Kai was liable to eat Hotaru ALIVE with a toothy smile on his face. & the best part? Something told him she would not think to STOP HIM.

                                                     Kai remained in control of himself; it was one of his more BETTER characteristics that made one of his many flaws seem so minuscule. As her thigh came up into his palm, out of reaction, he couldn’t help but give it a SQUEEZE. How much more of her he thought of squeezing, of holding, of marking, of conquering. To know that she will return home to that LUXURIOUS lifestyle & be around those whom did not see him WORTHY of her attention & time not the same person she was when she left him. She’d come back as something different. She’d come back as his.

                                                           FULLY.
                                                   COMPLETELY.

                                                       Reel it in Kai. He released her thigh, not wanting to bruise such pefect skin…not like that, anyway. His head hung back some, as if it were heavy but it swung back slow as he kept control of the motion. His hair fell back, revealing the rest of his face before coming back up slowly while coming forward; his chest finding itself perched right inbetween the valley of her clothed breasts. ❛ Out of all the people I’d kill for to stop talking, you’re not in that category. ❜ Besides, how was he to make her emit such SINFUL, SENSUAL MUSIC from his songbird if she was told to stop talking? Perish the thought.

✠HOTARU✠​:

---

       comfort comes so naturally in kai’s presence. to say she has found a home within the walls of his estate would not be entirely true - but hotaru feels at ease enough here to speak freely, honestly. perhaps even too much so, on occasion. though she tries to limit her contributions, there remains an underlying fear in the pits of her stomach that erodes her solace. what if she irritates him ? becomes too troublesome to keep in his company ? the thought alone often finds her often backpedaling, retreating, looking for excuses to silence herself instead of risking becoming an annoyance.

       so concerned is she that initially, her breath hitches as he leans across the short distance between them. kai has never frightened her, she somehow doubts that he could. but she still worries about how he perceives her presence more often than she would care to admit. the familiar feeling of his fingertips clasping the curve of her chin sends a tingling sensation, like a bolt of lighting, throughout her petite frame. her anticipation is short-lived though, coming to a head the instant his lips settle against hers in a kiss.

       every inch of hotaru’s body ignites with excitement. it is warm & welcoming, much like the firm press of kai’s lips against her own. hotaru allows herself to melt into the sensation, into all the giddiness that flickers against her insides, eyes fluttering to a close. her heart is leaping, a rapid rhythm that threatens to drown out all the thoughts that were spiraling through her mind mere seconds ago.

       none of those feel as important now anyways.

                                               Whenever the mouth went a mile a minute, one could assume that the mind was either keeping pace or outdoing the mouth. Kai wasn’t sure which was which but he knew when & how to make it stop for her. Seeing Hotaru sputter around in a proverbial circle over NOTHING always caused the blader to raise a brow. Usually, he was the reason behind it & that was something he could understand. Kai was an anomaly; there was no real way to tell just WHAT he was thinking & feeling at any given moment since his expression usually stayed the same—STOIC. Kai had an impeccable poker face.

                                                       His mouth molded over hers, guiding hers in their little dance. When he first kissed her, it was small, a peck—nothing too severe as a means to let HER show him just how much pressure to apply whenever she was ready. There was no reason to rush anything & he made sure that she knew that. PATIENCE is something he knew all too well & waiting for her was not what he’d classify as a chore. He applied a bit of pressure to show that this was more than just a mere PECK. She always tasted sweet; he tested himself sometimes to figure just what she had to make her lips taste this way. Whenever their lips broke for a moment, he came back to take them again, taking just a bit more each & every time.

                                                      The hand that cradled her lower back found itself SLIDING just a bit upward. Not too much to ruffle clothes but enough to provide FRICTION to what he imagined to be untouched, sensitive skin whereas the other that found a place on her thigh gave it a SQUEEZE. Something clicked in Kai. The sound he emitted between their combined lips was low, a growl—it could almost be mistaken as something PRIMAL. An unseen collar yanked the blader back & he broke the kiss gently, slowly while releasing his grip on her thigh.

                                                      The breath he released had to have been the LONGEST breath ever, to him at least. Kai cleared his throat & that echoed in his ears. No movement. No SUDDEN movements. His head dropped itself down somewhat brought bringing itself back up to look to her, no shame ANYWHERE on his face. ❛ Are you feeling better now? ❜

✠HOTARU✠​:

        she wavers, a low-lit candle that flickers in the wake of an autumn breeze, still burning but weaker somehow. his assertions are enough to halt hotaru in her tracks, violet hues flitting in uncertainty, glancing from his features to the floor as she searches for the words that feel so elusive. would it even matter ? kai has made it clear before that his perception of his birthday was as an event hardly worth celebrating. but it is in her nature to remember these things, to try to treasure the people who claim pieces of her heart. to show them how much they mean to her on those special days of the year.

         “ it matters because i didn’t even call you, ” she insists, a bitter taste lingering in her throat. it’s a ginger guilt, one that makes the inside of her stomach plummet with lead stones. being so far from home with her parents, so many things had distracted her. new places & experiences, new memories to build. it was an exciting whirlwind of a time, one that she treasures already, that she’ll hold close to her heart for the weeks ahead. but that wasn’t enough to lessen the disappointment in herself, the forgetfulness which would allow her to overlook something so significant.

         how to make him understand ? her lips purse, everything in the girl at war with herself. earlier in their relationship, she may have submitted to her more timid nature, but now … she cannot imagine making herself small in his presence. not anymore. they’ve progressed far past the need for that. he allows her to speak her mind, to be seen for all the complexities that define her. it’s a special kind of familiarity & comfort that he brings her, one that she wants to offer him in return. the tension in her frame lessens, a breathy little exhale tinged with amusement falling from her lips.

         “ it isn’t just a birthday, it’s your birthday, kai, ” hotaru steps to shorten the distance between them, both of her hands reaching for one of his. tenderly, her fingers clasp around his, offering a light press against his palm. little firefly smiles sweetly, a warmth blossoming in her chest, pushing away the sourness of her shame. “ you are important to me. which means your birthday is important to me too. which is why i am sorry i missed it. and - ” she raises her chin slightly, mischief woven into the curl of her grin. “ i plan on making it up to you. i don’t know how yet, but i will. ”

                                                   What could he say to that? She didn’t call, that was true & yet, Kai didn’t even bring it up to her so she could REMEMBER to call him. What would it have mattered? If only she could see the missed MESSAGES & CALLS on his phone from that day; he only answered one, Yuiry, the wolf of Neoborg & his ever wanted message—the same one presented EVERY SINGLE YEAR without fail to the ex-team captain. The message always read ‘hey fuckface. happy birthday.’ to which, he always replied back 'yours is next jackass. thank you.’ It means a lot to not WONDER & QUESTION their friendship.

                                                         & now, he had her & Kai did not think it APPROPRIATE to bother her on her vacation with family (to which looked at him as though he wasn’t worth Hotaru’s attention & time but that is neither here nor there) all for him. In many aspects, Kai did not value his birthday as something to be celebrated. He did not have the WORST life growing up by far but, to be around those who were SUPPOSED to make you feel one way & instead went out of their way to do the opposite, many things found themselves being soiled due to it. He cared very little for HOLIDAYS & even less for his own BIRTHDAY. He did the BARE MINIMUM for others in those regards & prayed that they didn’t expect MORE from him than he was willing to give.

                                                         & yet….he was willing to give MORE to Hotaru as she took his hands in hers. His songbird who spoke sweetly enough to him to even be mistaken as something LYRICAL in make. Softs hands held his own; he felt his own hands were in some cases UNWORTHY to touch hers with how rough they had become over the years. It isn’t just a birthday, she said. It was HIS birthday. He had no doubt that she cared; that his friends (yes they were friends) cared. The hurdle was to get HIM to care. His head tilted some; the hair that made up his bang tilted with him as he looked to her. His smile was nearly NON-EXISTENT. He smiled a lot with her, more than he thought he could. ❛ You’re hopeless, you know that? ❜ A small chuckle followed his words as he removed his hands from hers & instead, gently, fixed themselves around her waist.

                                                      Since he was sitting, Kai was staring right at Hotaru’s abdomen & this was more than fine. Muscles tensed, causing the short sleeves on his shirt to tighten around prominent bisceps & both hands & forearms brought her closer to him; his head leaning forward to place itself on her clothed stomach half his face buried in the fabric & the other half hidden by thick strands of light blue fading into what looked to be gray. Kai breathed out. ❛ Thank you. ❜

                                                       He was no dog; he did not need the CONSTANT attention of someone thus, this trip did not affect him in a manner that he’d assume would be SURPRISING to someone else. He traveled a lot & struggled to stay in touch. Many will say how they just wait for Kai to ‘show up’ again to know that he is alive. Activity is sporadic even when he was stationary in one are. However, for her, he looked to CHANGE things little by little. He put for EFFORT to be in some regard not different…but better. If for no one else, for her.

                                                       Hotaru still stayed around him & Kai for the LIFE of him could not understand why. She did not fear him. She did not find his company unpleasant. She did not look to not associate with him. If anything, Hotaru actively CLAIMED him whether it be in public or in private—a shock for the blader in need who went from having NO ONE to having those who CARED about his well being. It was still an ongoing battle to accept that. His chin had rested itself comfortably on her shoulder, making sure not have his chin DIG into tender flesh.

                                                     ❛ What’s there to apologize for. ❜ It wasn’t a question. There was no need to ask a question. She’ll be back—he (hoped) knew she would be & her feeling REMORSEFUL for leaving him for all of two weeks moved him. Kai was NEVER moved by anything. Still as stone inside & reflective out. ❛ You’re going away on a trip that was planned. That was an OBLIGATION set possibly before me; you don’t need to… ❜ he didn’t know how to word this properly (for once words escaped him). Was it CONDITIONING? Was it LACK OF EXPERIENCE? Ruby stained eyes turned to meet deep amethyst. ❛ You don’t need to ANSWER to me. ❜ It sounded wrong, even to him. All he could hope was this message came across as nothing POSSESSIVE, that was not it & never will be.

                                                 ❛ Have fun or at least try. You can call & text me if you want. I’ll answer; I’ll be here when you get back. I promise. ❜